Have you ever played out endless scenarios of a heated conversation in your head, only to have it go nothing as you expected it would? Host Rosanna Gill has gone into this negative spiral countless times, working herself up over imagined conversations that ultimately never happened. So, where does this intense concern for other people’s expectations come from? Why do we expect people to react poorly, when in reality, the conversation goes smoothly?
In this week’s episode, Rosanna will explore the concept of enmeshment as a potential answer to this question. Enmeshment describes a relationship where the personal boundaries between individuals are permeable and unclear. For example, did you ever have to put your own wants and needs on hold so that you could fit in with the family collective? This is an example of enmeshment, and it could be impacting the way you set and hold boundaries in your adult life.
Tune into our newest episode of Breaking Labels for a conversation about critically examining your past to better inform your present. Learn why creating your own manifesto can help you set lasting standards, why you can ask people NOT to give their advice, and how to let go of others’ expectations for good.
Quotes
• “Where does this intense concern for other people’s expectations come from?” (6:20-6:28)
• “Where [enmeshment] becomes an issue as an adult is you don’t all of a sudden wake up as an adult and think, ‘Well, I know how to stand on my own two feet as far as thoughts and decide what my standards and expectations will be.’ Because you’ve had to put your own desires on the back burner for the sake of fitting in with your family collective for so long that you’ve kind of lost the ability to connect with your intuitive self.” (10:39-11:16)
• “If you haven’t looked at your people pleasing and how you respond to other people’s expectations, I’m going to tell you right now that it doesn’t matter how much you make, it doesn’t matter what your title is, you are still going to have the same struggles until you get to the root of why and, more importantly, until you decide what your standards and expectations are for yourself.” (13:12-13:40)
• “You can tell a friend, you can tell a loved one, that you don’t want their advice….Here’s the beauty of people that love you: when you set that boundary, if they love you, they’re going to test it a few more times FYI, but they will learn to respect it. YOU have to be the one to decide, though, what that boundary is and what you will and will not take.” (21:21-21:40)
• “You have that person in your life, you see their name and you automatically feel stressed, you automatically feel anxious, you automatically feel resentment. If those are the responses you get when you see that person’s name, you are probably over concerned with their expectations of you and their expectations of you are not aligned with boundaries that you actually want to be in place.” (33:38-34:00)
Links
Connect with host Rosanna Gill and Breaking Labels:
• https://www.instagram.com/breakinglabelspodcast/
• https://breakinglabelspodcast.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/rosanna.e.gill/
Rosanna is now offering a 12-week coaching program focused on helping YOU craft positive narratives for long-lasting transformation. If you are interested in learning more, you can reach out to Rosanna via email at rosanna@breakinglabelspodcast.com.
Schedule a consultation for aligners with Candid and get $250 off your aligners: http://cnd.co/v/rosanna_2
Podcast production and show notes provided by FIRESIDE Marketing