Are you dimming your own light because you don’t want to overshadow others? Are you constantly taking care of everyone else at the expense of your own needs and goals?
This is what Brené Brown calls engineering smallness. In other words, you shy away from your truth and potential because you are worried about protecting others and, oftentimes, yourself. Engineering smallness can take endless forms, including not setting boundaries with your family and friends, settling into a career that feels comfortable rather than striving for your dream job, or deferring to your partner rather than setting your own expectations, just to name a few examples.
The problem with making yourself small is that you’re only delaying an inevitable reckoning with yourself. While you may not notice it, the many moments when you put your true self on the back burner compound, slowly growing into an insidious collection of regrets. So, in this week’s episode of Breaking Labels, host Rosanna Gill implores listeners to ask themselves the following question: “How can I play big today?” By finding simple, yet meaningful, ways to consistently show up for yourself, you can start transforming your regrets into personal successes, so your light can shine through in full force.
Quotes
• “It is really easy to engineer smallness for yourself and to justify it by putting everybody else before yourself. That’s whether it’s your kids, whether it’s your spouse, whether it’s your parents. And I’m not saying don’t be there for them, but I’m also saying don’t use them as an excuse to not do the thing that you know you’re called to do.” (4:58-5:18)
• “Whatever your goal weight is, understand that when you get there, if you get there….and a woman makes a comment about your size, it is not for you to feel bad about that. I’m going to tell you what I wish somebody had told me: you, be proud of yourself. You did whatever you needed to do to get to that size. If somebody is uncomfortable in their own skin, that’s on them. It is not on you.” (9:38-10:10)
• “I cannot encourage you enough: find a way to show up for yourself.” (13:16-13:23)
• “In hindsight, I absolutely see that that was me playing small. That was me choosing what was comfortable in the moment over what I ultimately wanted. And how often do we do that? Sometimes we do it so much that we don’t even notice it until it’s late, until you wake up one day and you think, ‘How did I get here? This was not where I wanted to be, this is not where I wanted to go, and yet, I ended up here by tiny decisions, by tiny negotiations with myself, by tiny compromises that felt miniscule, insignificant in the moment.’” (21:35-22:15)
• “So whatever your situation may be, whether you’re playing small with your partner by constantly deferring to them or not asking them to show up in the relationship to the extent that you do, whether you’re playing small in your career, playing small with your friends, playing small with strangers...STOP and just ask yourself, ‘How can I play big today?’” (24:46-25:24
Links
Connect with host Rosanna Gill and Breaking Labels:
• https://www.instagram.com/breakinglabelspodcast/
• https://breakinglabelspodcast.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/rosanna.e.gill/
Rosanna is now offering a 12-week coaching program focused on helping YOU craft positive narratives for long-lasting transformation. If you are interested in learning more, you can reach out to Rosanna via email at rosanna@breakinglabelspodcast.com.
Schedule a consultation for aligners with Candid and get $250 off your aligners: http://cnd.co/v/rosanna_2
Podcast production and show notes provided by FIRESIDE Marketing